My thoughts to share from Thailand, at this peaceful moment... 　　 　　When we lost any of our beloved ones - When conditions are not right to 　　support life, they withdraw. When I lost my mother I suffered a lot. As 　　Buddhist teach, suffering is created by having attachments to "things"...so 　　I escaped, I thought, tried to dis-attach all my desires and emotional 　　baggages...I came to Thailand, stayed in this very peaceful and lovely 　　BanyanTree Villa. I meditate at the sunrise and sunset." No mind, no form, 　　I only exist" I spoke to myself. Then I let the meditation speaks. It speaks 　　in silence. It reveals, the conscious self-expansion. 　　 　　The day my mother died, I wrote in my journal, "A serious misfortune of my 　　life has arrived." I never image if I can ever recover from the suffering of 　　the passing away of my mother. But last night, I was sleeping in the hut, I 　　dreamed of my mother. I saw myself sitting with her, and we were having a 　　wonderful talk. She looked young and beautiful, her hair flowing down. It 　　was so pleasant to sit there and talk to her as if she had never died. When 　　I woke up it was about two in the morning, and I felt very strongly that I 　　had never lost my mother. The impression that my mother was still with me 　　was very clear. I understood then that the idea of having lost my mother was 　　just an idea. It was obvious in that moment that my mother is always alive 　　in me. 　　 　　Opened the door and went outside. The entire hillside was bathed in 　　moonlight. It was a hill covered with tea plants. Walking slowly in the 　　moonlight through the rows of tea plants, I noticed my mother was still with 　　me. She was the moonlight caressing me as she had done so often, very 　　tenderly, very sweet...wonderful! Each time my feet touched the earth I knew 　　my mother was there with me. I knew this body was not mine along but a 　　living continuation of my mother and father and my grandparents and 　　great-grandparents. Of all my ancestors. These feet that I saw as "my" feet 　　were actually "our" feet. Together my mother and I were leaving footprints 　　in the damp soil. 　　 　　From that moment on the idea that I had lost my mother no longer existed. 　　All I had to do was look at the palm of my hand, feel the breeze on my face 　　or the earth under my feet to remember that my mother is always with me, 　　available at any time. 　　 　　When I look at the leaves of the trees, the flowers, the birds and the 　　dewdrops. I would stop and look deeply, I will be able to recognize my 　　beloved one manifesting again and again in different forms. 　　 　　Gentle winds floated up my white skirt, opening like butterflys wings. I 　　once again, on my knee, praying with tears, for my mons resting in peace, 　　for the discovering the inner self journey, and for being ready to embracing 　　the life again with my beloved ones blessing... 　　 　　-judy

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